“Letting go”
by Sam Reader
For those of you who snow ski, allow me to take you back to your first couple of experiences on the slopes. For those of you who have never skied, hang tight with me – it applies to you too.
While living in Durango, Colorado, I had the good fortune to learn how to ski. Purgatory Ski Resort is a popular place for the excellent and fashionalble skier. I was fashionable.
My first lesson was learning how to snow plow. Snow plowing is when you point your toes inward – creating a wedge with your skies. You then move about the slopes in this half-cocked, prone position – paranoid about going too fast or someone getting in your way. By noon, I was physically exhausted from the snow plowing and mentally exhausted trying to maintain my image while recklessly moving about the slopes. Where was the fun in this? By mid-afternoon, I was dead! As for my friends, the skiing had just begun. Some of them even talked about skiing all week. I could not comprehend how this was done.
My first experience made no sense – I was strong! I worked out with weights! I ate healthy! What was wrong with me? I felt helpless and went home miserably tired and depressed. The muscles in my arms were so weak I could barely feed myself.
I called a ski instructor and told him my dilemma. He was quick to diagnose my problem. He said that I was snow plowing, and until I built enough nerve to stop snow plowing and start parallel skiing, skiing would always be hard work – never enjoyable.
It sounded easy enough over the phone – emotionally and physically making the transition is another story.
I suppose the greatest struggle I had was letting go – actually believing in my mind that it could be easier and safer than what I was accustomed to. I think it boiled down to fear. I didn’t want to get hurt. I didn’t want to become paralyzed. I didn’t want to die.
On the second ski trip, I had finally resolved in my mind that if I was going to get better at this I would have to take some risks.
The third ski trip, I sensed people were keeping a safe distance from me – as if I had a disease. I was a wild man on the slopes. There were times I felt I was going 100 MPH. It was scary; I was exhilarated. I now knew how to ski! The instructor later informed me that I was “out of control”.
Needless to say, there were many accidents – nothing too serious. I found the hurt came more from a loss of image rather than the bruised body.
The fourth trip, it truly happened. I connected!
I was in control of the slopes and most impressive, skiing had become enjoyable. I could go further, faster, safer, and I was not tired. I was now one of them!
I would like to suggest that you may be snow plowing in the office, and unless you build enough nerve to stop snow plowing and learn how to parallel ski, being a D.C. will always be hard work – never enjoyable. Sound familiar?
If you’re not sure you are snow plowing, take this symptoms test:
- Confused love-hate feelings about your profession? Yes No
- When I am at the office, I think about home or vacation. Yes No
- When I am at home or vacation, I think about the office. Yes No
- Anxiety attacks about going into the office after taking
a vacation (even a three-day weekend)? Yes No
- Not taking a vacation to avoid the anxiety attack? Yes No
- Lifelessly sitting (escaping) in front of the TV at
night (most of the night)? Yes No
- Looking for additional means to increase income and
hopefully hitting on something to get out of practice,
i.e. vitamins, consulting, skin cream. . . etc.? Yes No
- Sleepless nights thinking about third party pay,
employee personality quirks, and your next new patient? Yes No
- “Self talking” yourself, “What’s wrong with me?” Yes No
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- “Self talking” yourself, “What’s wrong with the area?” Yes No
- “Self talking” yourself, “It’s not me”. Yes No
- Finding yourself saying, “This isn’t fun anymore.” Yes No
- Finding yourself saying, “I can’t do this for the next
20 years!” Yes No
- Sleeping your weekends away? Yes No
- Coming hope each evening with just enough strength to
eat, watch TV and go to bed? Yes No
- Increased contention at home or in relationships? Yes No
- High staff turnover? Yes No
- Unpredictable mood swings (volcanic eruptions)? Yes No
- A constant high stack of narratives? Yes No
(Symptoms were not listed by numeric significance.)
These are only a few symptomatic behaviors associated with one who is snow plowing in the office. If you didn’t answer “Yes” to any of the above, you’re probably not being honest or you’re not human. The key here is to look for frequency with several of these issues at any one time.
THE BOTTOM LINE. The bottom line is “letting go”. Why is it so difficult to let go? We perceive a risk at stake. Charting unfamiliar territory is risky. I am vulnerable to attack. If I try something new, I could fail at it. If I fail, people will think less of me. They may think that I’m slow, not wise, not creative, not capable, insensitive and uncoordinated. They may see me as one who failed.
In “letting go” of the snow plow, did we risk? Did we fall? Did it hurt? Did we fail? (Only when we didn’t get back up.) That may be our problem. We have confused falling for failing?
In what sense is your comfort zone in the clinic different from the slopes?
You have an instructor. It may be your spouse, significant other, mentor, friend, consultant or your own inner thoughts. This person or feeling may have told you to “let go”:
In giving a clear recommendation during the report of finding, allowing the patient to comfortably walk away from the report knowing what’s wrong –
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how long and how much? This instructor may be prompting you to stop with the weather report and other value padding tendencies during treatment, therefore, cluster booking tighter and building a stronger prime time in hopes to create more down time for staff, as well as time for promoting yourself, staying on top of narratives and other office demands.
Perhaps it’s being more conscientious of the praising, feedback and goal setting among staff and implementing powerful (proactive) staff developmental/training meetings. Getting organized with office and compensation policies and semi-annual performance reviews.
You may be challenged to get your financial affairs in order so you can think about treating patients for the right reasons. Your goal may be to build valuable relationships in family, friends and yourself in establishing life beyond the clinic – long term personal and practice balance.
You may be challenged with the greatest fear yet – looking inward and defining yourself. What do YOU believe? What do YOU sell? What are YOU looking for?
This instructor could be encouraging you with a faster, further, safer and more enjoyable way. The snow plow is limiting. Build nerve, trust, “LET GO” – it’s a risk worth taking!